Oh gods, this episode.

When I was outlining the show, when I got to this point, I originally thought about Elijio getting captured. But then I immediately thought that, no. That would be more burying the gays, doing it to the boyfriend. That would be against everything I’ve opposed in fiction. The listener doesn’t have the same attachment to him as they do to Samael.

So, fuck it. Samael got taken and disappeared by the government. Future episodes will address this, as horrific as it is.

We start the episode with some Cassandra/Samael/Elijio domesticity. Cassandra is still shaken from the previous night. Having to shout and confront someone as harsh as she did is brutal on neurodiverse people. She needs some time with her spreadsheets. We also see Samael and Eilijio hooking up again, which is fine by Cassandra. (“Oh no, the poly life!”) Look, showing a healthy poly relationship is important, especially in today’s political climate. Besides, too many vampire stories depend on jealousy and polygamy.

Anyway, we start on a happy scene because things are about to go terribly, terribly tragic.

Next up, we hear that Lorea has handled Siobhan. She’s handled it.

And then Cassandra goes to see Stephanie again, who asks Cassandra what the fuck went wrong on press night.

She’s handled it.

You have to trust that someone has handled a situation and you aren’t privy to why.

I wasn’t expecting Cassandra and Stephanie to break up again when I wrote this scene. It just sorta happened. I’m glad it did because it added some more needed drama but still, these poor women can’t catch a break.

Then we get to The First Labor of Cassandra – Amanda’s Boon. This was something I actually wrote up in the Blood Doll Anthology, which I will get around to releasing, I promise! It was about Amanda’s and Penelope’s multi-year feud, so of course, Amanda has Cassandra check in on Penelope. I’m always thinking about dementia. A few women in my family have had it (my great-grandmother (who I met briefly), my grandmother’s sister, and a distant cousin, Nancy Heath) and it’s not pleasant to speak with them coming in and out, misremembering things (like correctly gendering me). I also explored it in The Mask of Inanna with the Speed Bump, which I mentioned at the time was a metaphor for Alzheimer’s. Having Amanda force Cassandra to confront that it may happen to her – and does she really want to put Samael through that? It was an interesting supposition for Cassandra to think about.

My editor Tony originally wanted me to take it out and, I don’t know. I think it works. Maybe it’s a little long. Or the right length. Time and you, dear reader, will tell.

Also, if you aren’t familiar with the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR), it’s a solemn affair. I attended some of the early ones in Boston arranged by Gwenners. My friends read poems at them. Utterly heartbreaking.

(Also, I’ve mentioned this before but Amanda is the third audio drama character I’ve based off of a dyke co-worker I had back in the 90s named Annette Turla. I fucking loved being around her. She passed in 2022, and her partner Jackie passed in 2023, and even though I never saw them much after 2000, I dearly miss them.)

Back to the story, Cassandra checks in on Siobhan to find her working at a warehouse to pay Cassandra back. This is how a lot of anarchists handle situations like this – working to earn back trust. Showing that you’re dedicated to repairing the relationship that you broke. Siobhan’s voice actor complimented me on how Siobhan was handling the situation which, as a (possibly lapsed?) anarchist, I really took to heart <3

Next, Lorea gives Cassandra The Phone. The Phone will be with us until the end of the show. It is Cassandra’s lifeline and will doom her soon. I had considered Lorea giving her The Phone earlier in the show but it made more sense that she receive it in the same episode in which it becomes relevant.

Next, for the Second Labor of Cassandra, Simon asks her to take him out for a night on the town – at least, Lake City. I chose Lake City in particular because I had a roommate who worked the overnight shift at the (now closed) Fred Meyer there, and whose co-workers would go out for drinks afterward at bars that would be open at like 6 AM. Anyhow, it was my delight to give Thomas Hale of Flash in the Pan podcast a minor role on the show when he was in Seattle. I let him choose the name of his character (Felix) and he did a magnificent job. I’ve been friends with Thomas since before he started the podcast with Alex and I host their show’s RSS feed (since the free version of WordPress won’t host it).

Back to the show, Simon has himself a little bender and probably drinks more drugs through Felix than a Kindred ought to safely, aaaaaaaaand he’s out. So Cassandra has to wrap him in blankets and get him home. It’s okay. Simon trusted that she’d have his back.

And yes, the whole Simon bit was an excuse for Simon to bust into Samael’s sitting room screaming, “I’m okay!” while Samael was helping themselves to Cassandra. It’s fucking great, I love doing that shit.

For those of you who know me, when Samael says, “Do you want marks hidden or where everyone can see them?”, this is a me thing. I like being bitten and marked up. My skin marks up incredibly easily. You can rake my flesh with your fingernails and see the traces. It’s incredibly hot. There, there’s your TMI for the day.

Next we finally have Judith and Aaralyn admitting that the Blood Temple was a good idea. (At least, it better have been, at its cost.) Cassandra gets paid for her work. At last. Always pay your Blood Dolls, Kindred. And then while I was writing it, I thought, well, Cassandra is now officially part of the court (and they said in earlier episodes that humans can’t be a part of the court! Ha! What do Kindred know?) and why wouldn’t Esther try to drag her down like she does with Samael? And Cassandra’s response just came to me. A hug! A big thank-you hug. Gods, I was like, Esther would never put up with that but just this once, for comedy.

So when I was originally thinking about Simon’s boon, my thought was that he would take Cassandra out to watch the moon rise over Tacoma. And then when I thought of a better bit for him to do for his boon, the idea of watching the moon rise still stuck with me. And so here we have the last time Cassandra and Samael were together, happy. In celebration. When The Phone rings. “And that was it.”

And now we move into the Assault on Precinct 13 part of the show. The US Armed Forces now know about the TAM (we’ll learn why later). And the Anarchs need to confront how much they want to lose to retain it.

So we get to the famous ambush scene that took me about two days to do the sound effect (SFX) for. We meet Hank, who will be more relevant in Season 2 of the show, and Silver, who will unfortunately be captured. Silver was a one-off character I wrote a piece for in the Blood Doll Anthology, but I didn’t have a slot for her in the show until now. For those of you wondering who the fuck Harry Sullivan and Sarah Jane Smith are, well, I just provided links for you. You’re welcome. Essentially, Hank and Silver are nerding out over classic Doctor Who.

Everything was fine until the government attacked.

This scene was a pain in the ass to do the SFX for, but I’m glad it came out as understandably as I wanted it to. There’s lots of gunfire and driving, but I want to give extra credit to all the actors who did the scene asynchronously (I think only Rachel and Katherine were the only two who recorded at the same time together) and absolutely exhausted themselves making the scene sound as intense as it was. Sangria (Arturo) especially was wiped out by the time we got to the end of this scene (twice! We record every scene twice, minimum). Bravo to them!

Anyhow, Cassandra brings up the choice to Arturo and then the others – why keep the TAM? Why not put bullets in it and save everyone? The tension is wracked when Cassandra says, “I could make them go away right now. Permanently.” And she doesn’t because Lorea asks nicely. But y’all know…. she should have. She really should have.

And then there’s Mandy. Named for the Panos Cosmatos movie, Mandy also got screwed over by the government in being made a Kindred without learning what they are. I think about her like queer kids who don’t know their history. Or who have no connection their culture. And are held away from it. Utterly tragic. And I knew that Lorea understood her and had to get through to her. And so I wrote a page-length monologue in which Lorea pours out her heart to this kid. I went through everything I’d learned from my various medical trainings about death by hypovolemic shock. (I got things wrong about Canada but I edited them out of the final cut.) And I hope y’all were as moved by it as I was.

When I was first asking famed internet celebrity Katherine Cross to be a part of the show, we met at a local coffee shop and I gave her this scene to do. (I had just written it a few days before.) And she did it well for a first-time read. Hopefully that was the hook I needed to get her on board.

The next sequence is Cassandra deliberately weakening herself so that she has to struggle more for the final scene. She’d have to go to the hospital. This gave the Anarchs more incentive to get passed the Army Kindred.

Cassandra makes a lot of mistakes. She can’t tell they’re mistakes at the time, but in retrospect, they should be obvious. I sympathize with her a lot. Anyway, before going downstairs to see Mandy, she makes a call to Siobhan to ask for help. She didn’t trust the Anarchs. All the pieces are in place for the final scene.

Yeah. Poor Samael and Elijio.

At least Elijio managed to escape.

Fuck.

This was rough to write. Even rougher to edit. What more do you want out of me?

When I wrote the ending at the hospital, I wanted Rachel to absolutely rip the listener’s heart out when she cried out, “WHAT?” I think it worked. I dunno.

I really appreciate the chance to write these show notes. It’s cathartic and gives me the chance to go over the emotional states I was in when I was writing and editing these. (I don’t really cry or anything when I’m directing? It’s more like I’m pushing the actors towards whatever I had planned for them and I don’t get emotionally wrapped up in the scene.) I’m glad this episode happened, even if the characters is it are not.

One of my actors mentioned that this was the episode where they felt truly invested in everything I’d been building up to in the show. I hope you feel the same.

Anyhow, the next episode is one of our best. Stay tuned.